because i missed you--

[james christopher levi]

james christopher levi --

After just arriving from the airport, James hadn't taken much time in the slightest to unpack or do anything other than what he couldn't put off. Instead, he had made his way to the pier, despite his brutal hatred of water. Water had taken his mother's life away. He didn't care how else people put it. Yeah, if she hadn't been on acid, maybe she would still be alive. But he would never knew if it was because of the drugs, or just her tripping. Falling into the water. Drowning. He shuddered at the thought. And most people would call him strange after hearing that, because he was perfectly fine with doing drugs. In fact, his favorite was the one that helped kill his mother. LSD. Acid. As long as he never had to swim.

He could feel his throat clenching, his eyes fighting back tears as he thought of his mother. He was only eight years old, but the scene was still fresh in his mind, burned there by sorrow. He shrugged away the thoughts as best he could, instead thinking about the summer, and the past year. Freshman year was probably the best year of his life. But it was the worst, at the same time. His father had kicked him out, forcing him to move to America, but when he got to America, he fell in love. He was sure of it. He had thought he loved Amy, but he had been wrong. It was a different kind of love. A type of love that made you think you never wanted to be away from that person. Yet again, he felt tears coming to his eyes. But he couldn't shake the thoughts of Timothy.

He made his way down to the pier, sitting a few feet away from the docks and looking at the calm water. To most people, water was beautiful. But James never quite understood why. To him, water was just a resource clogged with dead things and fish shit. Dead things... dead fish, dead people, his mother... James felt his heart speed up slightly, and quickly shrugged away the thought again. And fish shit... it's kind of obvious. But he had always felt a strong pull towards water. It was almost like it was sacred to him. The final resting place of his mother... at the bottom of the ocean. He sighed, shifting his legs to sit cross-legged, playing with the trimmed grass underneath him.

[timothy shane brooks]

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark - - -

Keys and cell phone were stuffed into my pockets as I briskly descended the stairs of the dormitory building, making my way out the front doors and onto the paved walkways of the boarding school. My arms were greeted with a cool autumn breeze, forcing me to roll the sleeves of my jacket back down, and zip it up in the front. I did a quick 360, making sure I was alone before I pulled out my lighter and pack of cigarettes, lighting one and taking a drag from it, holding it between two fingers. Letting my feet lead the way, I started to zone out.

This year was going to be horrible. I knew it, deep down in my gut. Too many things were missing from it. It was.. incomplete. No Alex, no James, no friends. No nothing. There were the occasional people who I remembered from last year, but no one that I knew I could talk to. And I was lacking in social skills. This year was really gonna suck. I didn't even try to make that thought optimistic.

I held up the cigarette, gripped between my index and middle finger. Why the hell did I smoke? Alex, he died from smoking, and I had to spend a year watching him die, for there was nothing I could do. There were multiple times after he died when I said I would quit, but look at me now. Still smoking. I took another drag. It was useless thinking about the past.

After a while of walking, I could see the pier coming into view, the boats bobbing in the water nearby. I could also see a figure, sitting on the ground, staring into the water. My feet steered me in that direction, even if I didn't want to, walking like I was on autopilot until I stood directly behind him, my shadow cast over him from the afternoon sun. The straight black hair, cut right above his ear - it reminded me of James. I wanted to see his face, confirm that I wasn't just being delusional.

"Uhm.. Hi."

[tags] james christopher levi.
[words] 350.
[lyrics] 'i will follow you into the dark' - death cab for cutie.
[notes] .. lots of drabble. and sorry it took so long. D:
[outfit] this.

[james christopher levi]

james christopher levi --

James had wanted to cry. Just looking at water – it reminded him of his mother. And just the slightest reminder of her made him want to cry. He had heard the footsteps behind him, and seen the shadow that had casted a couple feet in front of him, but he didn’t bother showing notice of it until the person spoke. He turned around, a little irritated, growling in his strong Liverpudlian accent, “Wha’ do you wan’?” It was Liverpool custom to drop as many unnecessary – and necessary – consonants as possible. But that was before he had turned around, and when he did, all he could do was just sit there and look up at the other boy. He blinked a couple times, not sure if he was even awake still or not. He hadn’t expected to see Timmy when he went back to America. But now he was glad he had left.

“… Timmy?” He had the slight questioning tone in his voice. He felt like he was hallucinating. It wouldn’t exactly be the first time he had thought he saw someone he missed.

He stood up, taking a couple steps back when he realized how close the other boy was behind him. He watched the other person for several moments, wanting to make sure he was completely sure. As soon as he thought his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him, though, as soon as he was willing to take the risk of potentially looking like an idiot… “Timmy!” He grinned, darting over to Timothy, wrapping his arms around his neck and nuzzling his head into his chest. He tried to think of something else to say, but the words just wouldn’t come out.

After the whole summer of not being with him, he’d figure he would have something more to say to him, but anything that had meaning refused to come to mind, and simply saying, ‘So, how was your summer?’ seemed a little bit lame, considering he had broken up with Timothy before going back to England for the summer – as well as telling him he wouldn’t be back. But he had come back, after realizing that for one, there was nothing in Liverpool for him, no opportunities, nothing, and second, that he missed Timmy worse than he had thought he would, and frankly, he thought he could never live without him. He had spent the whole summer crashing on his neighbor’s couch, considering he couldn’t go home, because his father would just go back to beating him, putting him down. He would much rather be with Timmy than uncomfortable and lonely every night.

[timothy shane brooks]

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark - - -

The figure - who I hoped was James - sat very still, just gazing out at the water. I remembered the story of his Mother, how she had drowned. He wouldn't ever go swimming with me because of this, he just sat there and watched, and it was depressing. James was a strong kid, who went through a lot as a child. I had been lucky to have him. Had being the key word there. The memory was still fresh in my mind, as was the pain. It hurt to have him leave me.

My lips formed a crooked grin at the mangled english. There was no mistaking that accent. As he twisted around, all we did for a moment was stare back at each other. There was something a tad different about him now. Maybe it was his hair.. Or maybe I had just been away from him for too long. ".. James." I answered.

He looked shocked, though, standing up and backing away. I guess it would make sense that he was a bit startled, though. His boyfriend he hadn't seen since the beginning of last summer just walked up behind him. But, after a few seconds, a grin spread across his face and he rushed forward, both arms wrapping around my neck. I closed my own around his waist, hugging him, burying my face in his hair. ".. Are you.. back, James?" I prayed that he was. I didn't want him to leave again, even if we weren't still dating. But.. I hoped that would change.

[tags] james christopher levi.
[words] 257
[lyrics] 'i will follow you into the dark' - death cab for cutie.
[notes] .. ew. it's really short. D:
[outfit] this.

[james christopher levi]

james christopher levi --

Grinning, James hugged Timmy tighter, squeezing his shoulders. He was nearly crying - actually, tears were forming in his eyes. But they were 'happy' tears. He couldn't remember the last time he had cried only because he was happy, not a shadow of bitter-sweetness in the situation at all. "Yeah," His voice shook slightly, tears coming out of his eyes. "I'm back. And never 'eaving you again." Adoration filled his voice.

He moved his head up, accidentally bumping his nose against Timmy's chin. Standing on his toes, he kissed him. It wasn't exactly a conservative kiss, either. He forced his tongue into Timmy's mouth as if he owned it. As far as he was concerned, he did own it. If Timmy was dating someone else, if he had met someone over the summer, well... screw them. Timmy had been his first.

He pulled away after a short time, and looked at Timmy. The reason he had kissed him... he had been hoping to spark something again. And if Timmy had met someone over the summer - well. James didn't know what he'd do then.

He pressed himself against Timmy, resting his hands on his chest. "I shouldn't have broken up with you. Ever. I shouldn't have left you. I should have figured that Liverpool couldn't change over a year. Yeah, it changed a little, but not enough. I'm never going back there again. Not even to visit my sisters or friends. They can come 'ere." He started blabbing. At least the words were finally coming out. "And I love you. I still love you." The words came out somewhat slow, but they felt rushed.

[timothy shane brooks]

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark - - -

Jamie's arms tightened around me, and I did the same in return, holding him close to me as if it would keep him from ever leaving again. His voice shook with emotion, but mine did too. "Good--" two chilled lips cut me off in a fierce kiss, a warm tongue prying my mouth open just enough to get inside. I hadn't kissed someone like this since.. well, since James. But it felt just like I remembered it, maybe better. Oh God, how I loved this boy.

When he pulled away, looking up at me, I looked right back, my heart thudding wildly in my chest. I bet he could feel it, too. I knew we'd be together, forever. It may have sounded like something you'd hear in a sappy, romantic film, but this moment was almost identical to those in the movies. Though, most of the time those weren't with two guys.

I listened to him talk, still holding him against my chest like a child, my chin resting on the top of his head. I guess the hormones were getting to him or something.

I paused, soaking in what he had just said, trying to force more words to come out. Trying to think of something other than 'I love you, too' because I knew that wasn't enough. ".. Somehow, I knew you'd come back. I knew you cared about me too much to be gone forever. For the first week without you, I had wondered if it was all just a bad dream, and that when I opened my eyes you'd be there telling me to get my lazy ass up. After that I started praying for you, every night, in hopes you'd realize how miserable life was for me, without you."

Tears welled up in my eyes, and dripped onto James' hair. "And damn, James, I love you too." The words were whispered quietly against his ear, which I planted a firm kiss on.

[tags] james christopher levi.
[words] 326.
[lyrics] 'i will follow you into the dark' - death cab for cutie.
[notes] ... lol. and i said i had no muse.
[outfit] this.

[james christopher levi]

james christopher levi --

James hadn't realized that Timmy was just as miserable, maybe more, as him over the summer. James really shouldn't have left. He hadn't been thinking, when he had gone back to England. England really had nothing for him, other than his sisters. He went back to England to go back to a crappy job at a club and a father who beats him. He made a mental note to carefully consider anything like this in the future. Especially if he was dating anyone.

He blushed when Timmy kissed his ear, also making a mental note never to tell him how much of a turn-on that was. Maybe it was because James had such big ears. He suddenly felt self-conscious, remembering how much he hated his ears. ".. I'm sorry." was all James could muster for a long while. He just stood there, trying to think. He briefly pulled away from the hug, but it didn't take long for his arms to dart back out, for his hands to grab fistfuls of Timmy's shirt. "I'll never do anything like that, ever again. I promise. It was stupid of me." He said, then quietly he said, "And I don't want to live without you." He wasn't joking, either. He could very easily have a little 'accident' if he didn't want to deal with the bullshit anymore.

He waited a while, and while resting his head on Timmy's chest, he muttered, "So.. are we.. together again?" He felt like crying again, unable to shake the thought that Timothy would say no. James hated rejection. He had too much of it early on.

[timothy shane brooks]

if there's no one beside you when your soul embarks
then i'll follow you into the dark - - -

I noticed the light pink color that shaded his cheek when I kissed him. It's so cute when he blushes, I thought. My lips formed a small, barely noticeable smile at that. I wanted to kiss him again, but.. we were in public, and if someone from our school was to see this, well, James would be humiliated. So would I, but I cared more about Jamie than myself. I wanted him to be happy here.

"It's okay, Jamie." My hand brushed up and down his back, attempting to soothe him.

[ NOT DONE! ]

[tags] james christopher levi.
[words]
[lyrics] 'i will follow you into the dark' - death cab for cutie.
[notes]
[outfit] this.